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CHILDREN AND CHURCHchildren_and_church





"First Wedding"


A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said..
"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."




"Becoming A Minister"

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up.."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to
sit and listen"




"Prayer"


A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, " And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."




"Writing Sermons"

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon..
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"




"Church Service"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"




"Sunday School Class"

Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of
their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which
showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was
meant to represent..
"The Flight to Egypt ," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"




"Sunday School Class"


The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."




"Did God Make You"?


A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her
a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book
and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking
her own cheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart,"
he answered, "God made me a long time ago..." "Oh," she paused,
"Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while
ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's
getting better at it, isn't he?"





 
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